If you’ve ever felt lost, unsure of what you need, or stuck in an endless loop of questions like Who am I? and Where do I want to go?, you’re not alone. Many of us have been disconnected from the very energy that could guide us back to ourselves: the healing power of our anger.
In this blog post, you will be taught how reconnecting with this powerful energy can help you regain clarity, set boundaries, and rediscover your sense of self and direction.
Below you can watch the video of Iris Savonije about this topic. Prefer to read on? Just scroll down!
Why We’ve Learned to Suppress Our Anger
In our society, especially for women, anger has been cast as the villain. We’ve been taught to fear it, suppress it, and—perhaps worst of all—feel ashamed of it.
We’re told that expressing anger makes us difficult, undesirable, or too much. As a result, we bury it deep within ourselves, disconnected from its power. But that shame we carry? It was never ours to begin with.
Anger as Positive Aggression: A Forgotten Compass
What if anger wasn’t destructive or chaotic, but instead, a guiding force? When experienced as “positive aggression,” anger can be an incredibly powerful tool. It tells you exactly what you want, what you don’t want, and where your boundaries are being crossed.
By reconnecting with the sensation of anger in your body, you gain clarity. You start to hear the voice of your intuition again, guiding you back to what truly matters.
When you allow yourself to feel anger, you receive vital information:
- What am I craving or desiring?
- What feels wrong or off in this situation?
- Where do I need to assert a boundary?
This is where anger shifts from something destructive to something healing. It provides direction when life feels confusing or overwhelming. Without it, we become lost.
Disconnection from Anger Keeps You Stuck
When we disconnect from anger, we lose touch with our inner compass, and only a few coping mechanisms remain:
- Pleasing: We follow what others expect of us, hoping they’ll approve or guide us.
- Collapsing: We withdraw, avoid decisions, or stay stuck in indecision.
- Frustration: We bottle everything up, unable to act on what we’re truly feeling.
These patterns aren’t signs of failure—they’re symptoms of disconnection. Without anger, we are left floating, unsure of our needs, unable to advocate for ourselves, and constantly searching for external validation.
Reclaiming Anger: Coming Home to Your Truth
Reconnecting with your anger isn’t about becoming aggressive or lashing out. It’s about understanding and embracing the energy of anger in a way that serves you.
When you allow yourself to feel anger in your body and give yourself permission to explore it, you begin to rewrite the story. You realize that anger isn’t the enemy. The real enemy is the shame and fear that taught you to suppress it.
You don’t need to carry those outdated beliefs any longer. They were never yours.
Rewrite the Narrative and Reclaim Your Power
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Reclaiming anger is a journey of shedding old layers of conditioning and stepping into your authentic self.
I invite you to join me in April for the Anger Alchemy Course & Workshop Series, where we’ll dive into this process together. Through guided exercises, body-centered practices, and storytelling, you’ll learn to harness your anger as a source of clarity and strength.
Or, if you prefer personalized support, you can work with me 1-on-1 to begin this journey today.
It’s time to rewrite the story and come home to yourself.
— Iris Savonije
Body-Centered Therapist & Chief Anger at Beyond Psychology
Stay updated for the Anger Alchemy Course & Workshop Series launching in April 2025, or explore 1-on-1 sessions to start your journey now.
Related Blogs
Unlock the Power of Anger: Break Free from Cultural Conditioning
Today I would like to shed another light on anger. We often think of aggression or destruction, but there are many nonlinear ways to use and explore this emotion.Ways that can only be discovered if you are willing to let go of control, which is one of the hardest...
This is How To Heal Your Relationship With Mature Anger and Reclaim Your Worth
When I work with clients or talk to women about anger, one of the most common responses I get is: “I don’t really feel that angry.” Many even wonder if they have any anger inside them at all. But as we begin to explore their stories, a different truth emerges. Often,...
Do You Feel Like You Don’t Belong Anywhere? Read This.
Do you sometimes, or often, feel like you don’t belong anywhere? It doesn’t matter where you are, whether you’re with friends, family, at work, in a supermarket, at a festival, in a bar, or even just walking down the street. No matter the setting, you might feel like...
Unlearning the Good Girl Script: Breaking Free from Patriarchal Conditioning
Through the good girl script and the deliberate, ongoing sexualization of young girls, women are being stripped of their power from a very young age, and it’s important we talk about it. Up until today, in the Western world, we are still living in a paradigm of...
Healing the Wound of Unworthiness
In a world that often demands conformity and suppression of our true selves, the wound of unworthiness can be a deep and pervasive challenge. This collective wound, rooted in the patriarchal, oppressive, and emotionally immature systems we've inherited, can leave us...
Let’s Talk About It
Do you have a question about this topic or just want to share an experience or insight? Let’s talk about it in the comment section below.
